Father Bride Maid Of Honor Speeches
Sexual Abuse Recovery: The Father-Daughter Dance
I watched in awe as a tender scene from a movie about the life of Laura Ingalls Wilder unfolded. In this movie she had taken a temporary position as a schoolteacher in a town away from her home and family. The home where she temporarily stayed was not a happy home and she lay in bed at night listening to the arguments between the husband and wife. She was lonely and frightened. Then she began to recall a comforting incident from her childhood.
As a very young girl, a howling wolf had caused her to feel frightened and unable to sleep. Knowing that Laura was afraid, her daddy came into the room, picked her up in his arms and told her she had nothing to fear. He carried her to the window so she could see the object of her fears, all the while telling her how safe she was in her home and in his arms. He comforted and protected his little girl, making her feel safe at a time when she had been terribly afraid.
As I watched this scene, something inside me began to stir. Tears ran down my cheeks as I was gripped with the fatherly tenderness portrayed in this movie. That same fatherly care and tenderness was missing from my own life. I began to realize some of the losses of growing up in the home of a sexually abusive father.
My own father was more like the wolf howling in the night; I learned to fear him. His touch was not comforting and his words did not cause me to feel safe and secure.
I cried healing tears as I watched the portrayal of Laura Ingalls drawing strength from this comforting childhood memory.
Later in that same movie, Laura and her husband, Almonzo, had just faced a devastating season in their lives. Laura was standing outside with her father, crying and asking him, 'Why didn't you tell me it would be this hard?" Even as she spoke the words, she pressed her head against his shoulder and his strong arm of comfort surrounded her.
I cried again. What a beautiful picture of the father-daughter relationship. Laura was indeed most fortunate to have had it.
I've also watched, several times, a movie called "Father of the Bride". This is a very funny movie, yet, a real tearjerker for me. The whole movie is about the beautifully intense relationship between this father and his daughter. The movie takes the viewer on an emotional roller coaster ride through the stages of planning and the eventual marriage of the daughter.
Again, I cried throughout the movie. This father and daughter had played basketball throughout her childhood and into her young adult life. Throughout this movie, there were repeated scenes of the two of them playing together; they had fun. They thoroughly enjoyed their time together. The time they spent playing basketball was like a carefully choreographed dance.
More losses in my own life and more healing tears.
I realize that life is not like the movies, but at the same time, these movies do portray what the real-life interactions between a father and his daughter should be.
I find myself constantly observing people. I especially enjoy watching the interactions between fathers and their daughters. I have to admit that I "steal" from the emotions of these interactions. I study the people, watch how they relate and see how the father "enjoys" his daughter. In doing this, I have come to realize how important that enjoyment really is to the daughter. Without speaking a word to her, he speaks volumes to her soul by his pure delight and enjoyment of her. Without even knowing it, he is preparing her for the relationship she will one day have with her husband. She will feel comfortable with his enjoyment and delight in her; it will not be a foreign feeling, but familiar and comforting because of what her own father poured into her soul.
I recently read a short story written by a father about his little girl. This father, who wanted to get some exercise, took his little girl with him to a jogging track. She, of course, took off in a dead run around the track as her daddy began his deliberate trudging along behind her. This father wrote of the joys of watching her run, of seeing her uninhibited pleasure of zigzagging across the track, running around in circles, spending that precious energy he wished he had. He was delighting in her innocence and carefree abandonment towards life. He described her as "poetry". He was observing and making memories for himself of his little girl. When the exercise time had finished, he picked up his little girl, who was by then, exhausted, and placed her on his shoulders. He tenderly carried his tired little one back home, making sure she was protected and cared for. The whole time they were on the track, this father was pouring something precious into his little girl. He had taken the time to share a part of his life with her, and in so doing, he was telling her that she is important to him .He was including her in his daily life and appreciating her child-like spontaneity and enthusiasm. Precious gifts that would carry over into adulthood in ways that he could not even begin to imagine. It was simply a natural out flowing from father to daughter.
And so I watch, carefully observing at every opportunity. I live vicariously through these interactions, gleaning bits and pieces of what "should have been". In some strange way, I find comfort in this. I don't really focus heavily on the losses in my own life so much as I focus on coming away from these encounters with pieces of a puzzle that have been lost and now are found. I can "click" those missing pieces into place and somehow feel more complete. I am knitting together the framework of my being, something that should have been carefully and systematically laid down early in life.
Now the responsibility for that foundation belongs to me. I am learning to trust and to develop healthy relationships with people in my life. There are days when the prospects of being able to do that seem unrealistic, and there are days when I can see it from afar. It still is a roller coaster ride for me; up and down over and over again, two steps forward and one step back. Still, I call it progress, because I'm still in the game. I haven't quit. I'm still pressing forward, some days gaining ground, some days losing it. Forgetting those things that are behind and always pressing toward the mark.
The relationship between a father and daughter is pure poetry. It is music. It is a dance. I've watched as little girls dance with their daddies. They stand on top of his feet and allow him to have complete control of their every movement. Trust . . . in all it was meant to be, simple, natural and complete. The father-daughter dance.
By Vicki D. Messer - My first book, Soul Song - Hope and Healing for Survivors of Sexual Abuse - is now available on Amazon.com. (Author name: Diann Messer) Vicki D. Messer has been writing on Associated Content and Yahoo C...
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im getting married july 4!!?
Please help me I am getting married in a mansion. I have never been to a wedding. I have rehearsal tommorow. I don't know if they are going to tell me what to do or what. But how does a wedding start. So what do I do and when and how about the garter session the toast session the reception the candle light blow out thing. I just need to know all of this please help me out. boquet throwing and all that.
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what is the usual order the events take place. like the cake cutting, first dance, toast....?
i will be doing the father dance, first dance,cake ,toast,dollar dance,boquet toss,, and i am not sure what the best order should be. i have heard many ways but i need more opinions
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i need some song suggestions for reception!?
i need some song suggestions for bride/groom dance and father/bride dance.
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