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Halloween Costume Ideas: Social Commentary On Notorious Scandals Involving Amateur Athletics

Due to the nature of amateur sports not relying on extraordinary salaries to be paid to athletes, you would think that many of the scandals associated with professionals sports would not trickle down. and you would be right. But that hardly means that the Big Business of amateur sports in America is not a hotbed of inspiration for those looking to capitalize on the notorious scandals that have been instrumental in raising a magnifying glass to the effect of cash on the behavior of those working within its realm. If Halloween costumes are the catalyst for you to make pointed commentary about society rather than raise a pointed stake while trying to speak eloquently through plastic fangs, then here are some ideas to make this Halloween a night for directing the glare provided by the Jack O'Lantern's flame on the dark side of amateur sports in America.

Joe Paterno

While there is certainly nothing funny about the Penn State child abuse case, Halloween does provide a rare chance for a satiric dig at both the legend at the center of it and his legions of fans who seem as capable of willful obliviousness as Paterno. Show up at Halloween event wearing Joe Paterno's trademark super-thick glasses, but with the addition of blinkers attached so that anything not taking place directly in front of you can be ignored. Surround yourself with sycophantic fans attired from head to toe in Nittany Lion gear who spend all night denying that you saw every questionable act they committed during Halloween festivities like stealing candy or knocking over decorations.

Tonya Harding

Women get to make a statement about the relationship between sports and celebrity via Halloween costumes, too. Costume choices that make that satiric point about Tonya Harding make her one of the most versatile Halloween ideas around: skimpy skating costume overly familiar with the Bedazzler, boxing gloves, wedding gown lingerie, skates with perpetually untied laces or, for maximum sardonic effect, a T-shirt simply readings "I'm a Reality TV Star." Lend this notorious sports personality Halloween costume a little more veracity by arriving with goons equipped with a collapsible police baton suitable for putting a hurt on the ankle of anyone who looks at your costume cross-eyed.

Generic College Basketball or Football Star

The sport is absolutely besides the point in this Halloween costume ideaas long as it is a sport that produces a commodity to be exploited for great financial gain by those in charge of professional sports. Meaning, the Generic College Star should be relegated to only football or basketball. This Halloween costume that makes social commentary about the state of amateur athletics means dressing up in the most stylish clothing you can afford. Outward appearance is the easy part. This Halloween costume only comes to life through performance, but that acting job is relatively easy. You must merely will yourself to forget everything you ever learned in class during middle school. Middle school is the point in time at which most kids (not all, of course) who go on to become star athletes at college bring their academic career to an end. The trick is to appear successful without giving away the fact that you are semi-literate, relatively incapable of higher order critical thinking skills and possess the secret skill of wiggling your way out of revealing the full depth of your educational ignorance.

By Timothy Sexton - Timothy Sexton was honored by being named the very first Writer of the Year of Associated Content, now known as Yahoo! Contributor Network. Timothy has published two novels and contributed chapters to S...  





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